Call me Scrooge
So its that time of year.
The time when Christmas cards are being sent out, Christmas music is playing on the radio and in every store you walk into, including the gas station. People all over are wearing earrings and bracelets that resemble decorations for the Christmas tree. People are wearing an over abundance of red and green together and right after Thanksgiving everywhere you go there is an ad about how much you can save on some big thing you might want to put under your tree this year. When I was a kid I loved Christmas. I guess I loved the routine. Knowing where I would be and who I would be with and probably what presents I was going to get.
Now I am an adult. I am a mom, I am a wife. I am worried. I am slightly worried about the petty stuff like not enough money to buy gifts for Jules. I am worried I can’t buy anything worthwhile for my husband. I am worried that my family is going to think I am ignorant because I didn’t send out Christmas cards. Well guess what I can’t afford it. Know what else I can’t afford. GAS IN MY CAR. Yeah thats right. GAS. I mean we can live comfortably but when it comes to the holidays and the extras, that ship sailed when the damn cat had to have surgery a few months ago. Not that I care that much. I just hate explaining WHY I didn’t buy my parents or my sister a Christmas gift. and THE guilt that comes with them giving me expensive ones, or throwing money at me as a gift, cause you know what I am going to do with that money? NOT buy myself something, I am going to pay my phone bill or put gas in my car with it, thanks for the gift. See how Scroogie I sound? Its awful! I suck big time. Thats not even the beginning. When it comes to the actual day of Christmas when we have to drive all over creation to visit with the five or so different sides of each family to make them all happy so they could “see” us on Christmas, THATS what kills me. Plus theres always the parent(my mom= the queen of guilt trips) that says ” i don’t want to put pressure on you to be here but we LOVE to see you that’s all “….gee thanks if that’s not pressure through guilt I don’t know what is. If it were up to me, I would have a party for everyone to come see me, and I don’t care if you all hate each other, if you all want to see me or Jules then don’t make me feel like a freaking countryside tourguide on fucking Christmas day. The last thing anyone wants on a holiday is to be stuck in the car, am I right or am a I right. If you didn’t get a Christmas card it just means I decided to put gas in my car instead. Suck it up.
A New Mom To Juliette 