New Mom and New Wife figuring it out one day at a time…

Worries and busy days

So lately I have been busy. I don’t know how working moms do it. I am not working and I am STILL busy. It doesn’t help that we have a marriage ceremony planned for Sam and I to get married in the Church and following that is a week of vacation at Cape May. I am more excited for the vacation than the ceremony but eh it is what it is. The last week I have signed into my blog and just looked at the blank new post template and then exited out of the window. I couldn’t, I didn’t want to. I don’t want every post to be venting about ie. My Dr. being so incompetent that they can’t put in a referral for my eye doctor. Or my bank going against my settings and causing overdraft fees up to 200 freaking bucks for NO REASON.  So very tempted to leave their bank. Whats more frustrating is that I have names and dates of when I talked to people when they messed up before and when I tell “managers” or “supervisors” this they don’t care or don’t believe me. This made me super angry yesterday. So in trying to not vent for the duration of this entire post I will go on to say I am very worried about my cousin. I can’t go into the gory details about what worries me about her relationship but I will try to bring across the situation best I can. She (my cousin ) is 20 years old. She is dating this guy who is ten years older than her. It has now been a whole year since they started dating. They met at their local theater club to which they both belong as actors. I am not quick to judge nor have I actually met her boyfriend in person yet so I am still keeping somewhat of an open mind until I meet this man face to face to see what the deal is. So far I have received many a phone call about my aunt and uncle who didn’t like him at first and their fights between them and my cousin. I understand what its like to be 20 away from home at college and dating a guy your parents aren’t all that crazy about minus the ten year age gap.  I studied psychology and have a degree in it, while I don’t have a masters in the subject I feel I am a good judge of character, but I do need the opportunity to judge. So far my cousin has called me in tears about numerous things which COULD be brushed off as individual likes and dislikes that just happen in every relationship. The most recent one was celebrating their one year dating anniversary. The BF ….we will call him Doug(not his real name) believes that no one in the whole world celebrates anniversaries and the only way he ever thought to celebrate was to wake up in the morning and say “happy anniversary”. Now in a different context like say its your third or  seventh anniversary which may not be significant to the average couple celebrating big may not be their deal and that’s okay. My cousin AT THE VERY LEAST expected a card and maybe some flowers. I said to her that maybe Doug had a previous girlfriend who demanded expensive things and he was trying to avoid the same situation. She should express to him that celebrating anniversaries is important to her and it doesn’t require expensive gifts just appreciation for one another. Maybe a picnic or a movie or tickets to a show, even a handwritten letter expressing your love would do. While all this was happening on the day of their anniversary she suggested that she take him out to lunch at the restaurant they had their first date at. On their way there he saw someone he knew pulled over and followed them into the building leaving his cell phone in the car with my cousin for a half hour. She called me in tears and I talked with her until he finally came back out. Over lunch she tried to explain celebrating anniversaries to him and he just didn’t get it. She texted me later saying that from now on she will just have to accept that anniversaries are not something to be celebrated. I was so sad after reading this. Doug also has a son, who he has NO rights to. I don’t know details but it definately makes me wonder. Doug has also been married before and has no problem with staying engaged forever and not getting married again. Also this makes me wonder. He may not be a bad guy he may be a great guy but I am sad for my cousin that this is the best she can do and she is only 20 years old! Knowing where she is at in life I don’t want to tell her that Doug is bad for her because I am afraid she will then disregard everything else I have to say. It wasn’t all that long ago I was in her shoes and being that she is family I understand BUT I have an awesome sister and my cousin is an only child. My sister and I have encouraged our cousin to bring her boyfriend to the family vacation that we are taking in Cape May after Sams and My wedding this upcoming Saturday. Hopefully there I will be able to observe and find out how this guy ticks. I don’t want this guy to be bad for my cousin but he did make fun of my sister and offend her at Thanksgiving so I am eager to see if he will do the same to me, because I won’t let him get away with it, and I will put him in his place but until then I will hold my tongue and see how this whole wedding/vacation with family thing works out. Also first vacation with Jules. Watch out and wish us luck!


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