New Mom and New Wife figuring it out one day at a time…

Girl Talk Thursday

Valentine’s Day – Love it? Stab it? Whatev?

I have never been a huge advocate for Valentines Day.  It does happen to be a holiday in which people celebrate love. People make efforts to find love when on any other day they wouldn’t bat an eye. For women it means possibly being romanced, for men it means if they make even the slightest effort they have a 90% chance of getting some. I know its a cruel way of looking at it but its true. Think about it. So many people get caught up in their Prince Charming coming to whisk them away, making dinner reservations at fancy restaurants and going to see cheesy movies. What about those people who are already dating, engaged or married? What do they do? They already love each other. In the case of married couples, you have already sealed the deal. Now you HAVE to do something in order to maintain the love that you already share. I mean you don’t HAVE to but don’t you feel obligated to? Maybe because every other day of the year you let an “I love you” slip or fall asleep with your backs turned or come home late and miss the dinner your wife went out of her way to prepare?

In my case my husband dislikes Valentines Day. Actually he dislikes most holidays. I try extra hard to celebrate these holidays with him and create a loving tradition. I have a feeling that H0lidays have left a bad taste in his mouth. As a child his parents divorced. They had him very young and he and his brother have paid for their parents immaturity. Its sad, unfortunately  his brother has it much worse than my husband. Still my husband dislikes holidays and feels no need to buy presents or decorate trees or make dinner reservations. I try not to let his tainted view taint my desire to celebrate Valentines Day or any other holiday for that matter. Since I understand more now why he dislikes holidays, I don’t take it personally that he doesn’t want to do anything, or that he says he doesn’t want gifts. He is my husband and I love him with my whole heart. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t get him tokens of my love and appreciation. Its not about how much money he spends or outdoing the other person when it comes to gift giving. To me its about seeing something that you know the other person would smile when they see it or means something special to the two of you.  For me if he takes the time to pick out a card and sign it, It’s the thought that counts and its HUGE steps in healing his dislike of holidays.  So sometimes I love Valentines Day, sometimes I want it to be written off the calendar and sometimes I couldn’t care less either way. This year is our first Valentines Day as Husband and Wife, as a family, and it will leave a sweet impression even if it kills me.


6 responses

  1. I love your determination, and wish you the best of luck in making holidays a sweet thing in your house.

    February 11, 2010 at 1:55 pm

  2. I hope you have a happy first Valentine’s Day as husband and wife. 🙂

    February 11, 2010 at 3:20 pm

  3. Way to have determination! Make it as special as you want it to be. Hopefully he will join in the love fest!

    February 11, 2010 at 5:56 pm

  4. It sounds like your husband and mine had very similar childhoods with very similar outcomes. 😦 It’s hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he really dislikes Christmas (my favourite holiday), but you make a good point: it’s got nothing to do with me. Thank you for the reminder. 🙂

    February 11, 2010 at 6:19 pm

  5. I admire your tenacity and lovingness! Maybe your intentional acts of kindness during celebrations will help erase some of the bad memories he has and fill those memories with warm fuzzies! I hope so.

    Thanks for sharing!

    February 11, 2010 at 9:40 pm

  6. I hope it’s everything you want it to be. Sending you a huge hug!

    February 11, 2010 at 10:32 pm

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