Crying to Crying
I don’t know if its hormones or the fact that Im too big to wear jeans still or that every time I am REALLY tired Juliette seems to want to CRY AND CRY AND CRY. She isn’t hungry, she isn’t dirty, she isn’t too hot or too cold. I switch her positions and still that piercing cry is coming out of her mouth like water breaking through a dam. My husband has little patience and feels like a horrible dad when he tries to calm her because he can’t seem to help, at least he sees her calming down a bit when handed off to mommy and therefore feels helpless because he doesn’t have boobs to nurse her if necessary. He admitted to me that I seem really calm about her being upset and that I don’t get upset when she is so annoyingly fussy. Actually more than fussy, fussy MAD. But I can’t get upet. She is obviously upset for a reason and she can’t say oh by the way mom I would rather be sitting upright rather than laying down, she is a BABY. So I try and try and finally she calms and what calms her is different every time, and last night it ended with me sitting in my bed holding her rocking her with my head bent over her crying to her crying, just hoping that she will quiet. When she finally did calm down last night my husband came in and said to me “that’s because you are a good mom” I love him I do, but crying to her cries while I desperately prayed that she would cease crying and be okay didn’t seem nearly as satisfying as changing her and hearing her quiet or nursing her to sleep. Hopefully tonight will be better than last. Even if mommy doesn’t get sleep she needs peace of mind knowing baby girl is happy. Gotta love motherhood.